Sarah: Happy 2009!

Happy New Year, everyone.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas and that you haven't given up on us yet. I'm sifting through photos and have some things to share with you in the very near future.

For now, I'm cleaning up my house, adding to the list on New Year's Resolutions that's already as long as my arm, and playing on my new Nintendo Wii, a graduation gift to myself.

I'll be seeing you around the internet very soon. Stay tuned for an exciting hand chair update!

Lisa: Loves getting a little lacy.

Ah, Victoria's Secret Semiannual Sale catalog. How I love thee.

For a mere thousands of pennies, I can send a box hurtling toward me through space containing something naughty, something nice, the very good, and the very bad. And by very bad, I mean horrendously pun-tastic catalog copy.

To wit: "The lace is on for frill seekers."

Lisa: advanced

Lisa: Are you teaching her how to juggle?
Blake: Yep! Well, I'm trying to. She's totally going to impress all her kindergarten friends.
Lisa: Yeah she is. And her teacher.
Blake: She'll impress EVERYONE. Except Dave. Dave'll just be like, "I've been juggling since I was three."

Lisa: no means no

Dear Walgreens cashier,

Please do not expose my one-year-old daughter to the sight of your plush caveman singing Do It Like They Do on the Discovery Channel. Similarly, hide away your mechanical puppy holding a valentine heart and offering an inappropriately sexual R&B message. In fact, maybe stay away from the animatronics altogether. She's saying "no" for a reason.

Sincerely,

Common Sense

Lisa: sorry

Lisa: diet

I ate hummus, which is totally good for you (+1)
On tortilla chips (-1)
By spreading it onto each chip individually with a knife (+1)
(My chips kept breaking (-1))

Eh. A draw. I think I've earned some cake.

Lisa: Pork Roast

Remember how I'm trying to find main-dish recipes that I can memorize and make regularly? Well, I think this pork roast is easy and delicious enough that it might fit the bill. It's the first crock pot recipe I've tried that I'd classify as an unqualified success, and there's no sign of my pet peeve of crock pot dishes--the instruction to brown the meat before putting it into the crock pot. To me, the whole point of crock pot cooking is that the recipe is super easy and basically preps/cooks itself while you're at work or whatever. If you have to spend a bunch of time getting everything ready to go in the crock pot (including cooking things on the stove), then you might as well choose a regular recipe that doesn't take four hours to cook.

But I digress. Aside from adding a bit of cooking time--I think every crock pot is a bit different--and wishing I had one of those handy gravy-fat-separator dealies, I hardly had to think about it. If you decide to make this (and I think you should), save yourself a headache and cut the roast into nice slices with the electric knife when you're ready to serve. Also, see if you can talk Blake into making mashed potatoes to go with it.

Recipe from Simple & Delicious after the jump. My additions/changes are in brackets.

Pork Roast with Gravy, from Taste of Home: Simple & Delicious, February 2009

This home-style supper can be made [a day ahead]. Strain and skim the cooking juices, cover and store all in the fridge. Then reheat the pork to 165 degrees and finish the gravy in a pan [the next day].

1 boneless whole pork loin roast (3 to 4 lbs.)
1 can (14 1/2 oz.) chicken broth
1 cup julienned sweet red pepper
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup cider vinegar
2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 tsp. Italian seasoning
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
2 tsp. cornstarch
2 tsp. cold water

1. Cut roast in half; transfer to a 5-qt. slow cooker. In a small bowl, combine the broth, red pepper, onion, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar and seasonings; pour over pork. Cover and cook on low for [4-6] hours or until a meat thermometer reads 160 degrees and meat is tender.

2. Remove pork [and reserve some for another use if desired].

3. For gravy, strain cooking juices and skim fat; pour 1 cup into a small saucepan. Combine cornstarch and water until smooth; stir into cooking juices. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened.

4. Slice pork; serve with [mashed] potatoes and gravy. Yield: 4 servings.

Sarah: And have the body of a supermodel

Mallory: Not to alarm you, but I might be a witch. Like in The Craft.
S: Ha! As if I could love you more.
M: You're just saying that because you know that I can control your fate with my mind.
S: In that case, I'd like to get rich soon and then die before I lose control of my bowels.

On a side note, this now makes Mallory's career path something like: Wiccan psychic who builds bombs. She is a unique individual, and that's why I like her.

Sarah: 25 random things

I generally hate surveys, but my coworker pressured me into following the trend of writing 25 things about myself. Some of these you've probably heard.

1. I've performed at Robert Redford's Christmas party at Sundance on three separate years.
2. And yet I've sadly never attended the Sundance Film Festival.
3. I go to Crown Burger once a week, every week. I have done so for over two years.
4. I was in choir my senior year of high school, because I decided I wanted to do so when I was in the fifth grade.
5. There's a part of your wrist that's called the "snuffbox." I know this because I almost broke it.
6. I have scoliosis.
7. As my mom styled my hair when I was a little girl, I would yell newspaper headlines along the lines of 'Young Girl Tortured by Cruel Mother for Sake of Ponytail.'
8. I attended an arts camp where it was rumored that kids would sneak into the Tuba Hut for sex.
9. I've only had one live Christmas tree in my adult life. I cut it down myself.
10. I love puzzles and robots.
11. I have a contingency plan in case of a zombie attack.
12. My feet are slightly different in size.
13. Oh, and I have abnormally short pinkies. At this point in the list, I sound like a circus freak.
14. In the 7th grade, I let my big sister put some product in my hair one day and wore it curly to school. A girl I was constantly trying to impress said I looked pretty. I've never looked back.
15. One of the most fun days of my life started and ended on St. Charles Bridge in Prague.
16. A boy dumped me and broke my heart several years ago. It was the best thing that could have happened to me at the time.
17. I worked at Victoria's Secret for a holiday season. As I assisted one man with his purchase, he asked if my boyfriend had a problem with me working there. Um, no. Victoria's Secret salesperson is not on par with, say, exotic dancing.
18. My first job was as a server in the dining room of a retirement center.
19. I'm terrible at remembering names, but very good at remembering faces.
20. I was grounded for an entire term during my senior year of high school.
21. I slid down an entire flight of stairs in the middle of my junior high. I wish that had been the only time such an event occurred.
22. I hate gladiator sandals, love patterned tights, and feel strangely neutral on the subject of Uggs.
23. I grew up without a dog or a cat, but with two hermit crabs. I cried when one of them died.
24. Whenever I sit in the passenger seat of a car, I have to concentrate on not succumbing to the urge to pull up on the emergency break.
25. I'm usually convinced that someone has entered my apartment while I'm asleep or away at work.

Sarah: Music Video

This is pretty, I think.

via i like nice things

Lisa: 25 random things

1. Diet Coke allows me to be the best version of myself. This has been confirmed by outside sources.

2. I secretly believe that if you heat-style greasy hair, it sort of cooks the grease into your hair again, like a hot oil deep-conditioning treatment. That sounded less gross in my head.

3. My genuine laugh is too loud to be considered strictly ladylike.

4. Who am I kidding--even my normal voice is too loud. Someone once told my boss at the library that he should hire quieter employees.

5. The best (and arguably only) reason to own a gun is to be prepared for the impending zombie outbreak. Better make it a shotgun.

6. I have been blogging for the same ten readers for almost six years.

7. I'm sure your McMansion is very nice, but I'd choose a smaller, older home every single time.

8. I am incredibly clumsy (see current black eye). I have a very real fear that I will fall down the stairs while holding Nora and kill us both.

9. I can't remember a time, no matter the number on the scale, when I didn't want to lose ten pounds. It's nice to have a constant in life.

10. I make Blake change his shirt because I love him.

11. It's fine if you hate Obama. Seriously. Just don't tell me it's because he’s a Muslim who wasn’t even born in the U.S.

12. Just because something is in print (on paper or online) doesn't make it true. Check. Your Effing. SOURCE.

13. I desperately need a new water heater. Invigorating cold showers are starting to lose their appeal.

14. I am cripplingly intimidated by everything my mom can do.

15. I'm in love with my daughter.

16. I love routines. Someday I'll put all the right pieces together to form the ultimate routine, and it'll just be perfect week after perfect week from there on out.

17. There were three people before Blake who I believed I was going to marry. Don't worry, if you're reading this I can almost guarantee you weren't one of them.

18. If I had to choose, I'd say James Bond is hotter than Aragorn. Of course, Jim Halpert is hotter than both of them. Not sure what that says about me.

19. I think I could leverage my librarian skills and my natural stalker tendencies into being a damn fine private investigator. Maybe someday I'll find out for sure.

20. If your proposed activity includes a) dressing up fancy and going out, or b) sitting on a couch with a blanket and fuzzy socks, I'm sold.

21. If there are garters involved, I will buy it.

22. I love being asked for advice.

23. I go to church because I think it's important to have a spiritual aspect to your life, and to try to be a better person than you already are. Church is one possible framework designed to help you do that.

24. I can't wait until it gets warm enough to ride my bike again.

25. I have found that people usually turn out to be more awesome than you gave them credit for.