Lisa: after

I got my car back a few weeks ago and it's all pretty and whole again. Thank goodness for car insurance, because I sure didn't have $6000 to fix it.

Lisa: you almost make me forget about tacos

Happy anniversary, Blake! Thank you for being so sweet and patient with me over the last six months. You're going to be a great dad. Congratulations on the job offer!

Lisa: my love is like whoa

I thought I was already a pretty big Office fan, but my Mindy Kaling love has grown by leaps and bounds since I found Things I've Bought that I Love, to which she is a frequent contributor. TIBTIL was linked on not martha, and I was thinking "this girl is awesome and hilarious and I want to be her" and then there was a picture and it was Mindy Kaling and my brain exploded.

(You can thank me later.)

Lisa: Kudos! (mmm. kudos.)

My parents finished the vast majority of the work on their amazing property in Spring City in time to show it off at Jeff's farewell party in May. I stole some before pictures from a few of Sarah's old entries so that you could see the difference side by side.

Here's the side of the big stone barn before:

And here's what the barn looks like now:

You can kind of see my sign hanging over the trellis in front of the door. The back of the barn is gorgeous, too, with giant glass french doors looking out over the back yard. Like Sarah said, my parents cleared out all the stalls and things so the barn can be used for summer parties. Now I just need to convince them to buy a Thelma's Frozen Lemonade machine to keep out there.

Here's the slightly sketchy-looking entryway of what we call the "big house" before:

And here it is after:

Here's what the top of the turret on the corner of the big house looked like before:

And here's the turret in all its current glory:

This doesn't show it to its best advantage, but here's the gorgeous new kitchen in the big house:

I couldn't find a before picture, but here's the vastly improved "little house:"

The little house got fixed up first, and it's where my parents have been living during the bulk of the remodel. It's tiny (just a kitchen/living room, one bedroom, and a bathroom) but darling, and my parents uncovered and highlighted some great period moldings around the huge windows. Now that the big house is fixed up, they've moved in there and the little house is now a guest house for when we come to visit!

Lisa: There was no "giant pregnant stomach" body type.

About a month ago, when ljc posted her Simpsons avatar, I checked out the Simpsons Movie site and tried making a few. The Simpson avatar maker is like a less-sophisticated version of the Mii-maker; you choose facial features, hairstyle, etc. that you think match your own. I came up with a fairly decent one for Blake, but I didn't think there were enough options to get a real likeness, so I didn't make one for myself.

Burger King's Simpsonizer supposedly takes a photo and actually morphs it into a Simpsons-like character. I'd seen a few surprisingly good likenesses, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. You still get to choose skin color, hair color, accessories, and body type, but it's in the guise of tweaking your Simpsonized photo, instead of starting from scratch. I tried it twice. The first time, my Simpson-self was a middle-aged black woman. The second try was a lot closer, but had long, glamorous dark red hair. Here's what came out after a bit of messing around:

Not too bad, I think! I mean, completely ridiculous of course, but not bad!

Sarah: The Gift of Siblings

A conversation in text messages with my brother Dave*:

D: Every time I hear the song The Way You Love Me by Faith Hill, I think of you.
S: Now that's just rude.
D: Hee. You know the first line of the song? "If I could grant you just one wish, I wish you could see the way you kiss." It's like your poem! About giving the world a gift!**
S: Hee. I hate you so much right now.
D: I always think she's going to say "If I could give you just one wish, I'd make it so you wouldn't biff."
S: Shut. Up.
D: How could you not think of that rhyme? About "I wish you could see the way you kiss"? Oh yeah, because it's RETARDED. Personally, I'd rather not biff than see myself kiss. Gross.
S: Hee. Finally, someone appreciates the quality of my gift. Took you long enough.
D: Hee hee. Someday, people will remember you for having the courage to dream of a world without biffing.

*Not to be confused with the Dave that has been frequenting our comments as of late. They're different Daves. I only clarify because there has been some confusion among readers.
**Backstory about my poem can be found here.

Sarah: Drinks and Wisdom

Apparently I spend my days talking via text and instant messenger to the people in my life that are funnier than me. Yes, that sounds about right. Jeremy struck up a conversation out of the blue with me on IM:

J: Haven't you always wanted to throw a drink in someone's face?
S: lol. YES. Or pour a drink into their lap like on Mariah's Heartbreaker video. That video kicks a**.
J: Oh the lap is good, especially with the wet peed-your-pants crotch but I think the face is so much stronger and forceful. The face requires a big, short splash that says a quick "Screw you a**hole." The slower pouring in the lap says "You have done me wrong for the last time. I hope you die. Do you hear me? Die. And I hope you are never happy again." "DIE!!"

J: I guess it all depends on what you have to say.

S: I am blogging this.

Sarah: My week in pictures

I love my camera phone. It allows me to document the small things that delight me each day.
Like this man that danced, unabashed, throughout the Peter Bjorn and John concert.

Or a shrine to Collin Raye who, if you aren't aware, is some sort of country/christian/pro-America singer who... oh forget it, just go to his site. You will be dumbstruck.

In case you can't read it, the writing says "Michelle, I love you MADLY." which amused me to no end.

I also attended a close friend's wedding, where I came across this woman's vest. I wish the picture better displayed the volume of the vest, which had gobs of ribbon, bows, buttons, and other knick-knacks all clinging to it.

My buddy Jen pointed out that this woman had an appropriately loud and startling laugh to match. Both the laugh and Jen's observation charmed me.

Lastly, I finally captured on film Mallory's attempts to raise one eyebrow. She squints her eyebrows down, stares up, and asks "Am I doing it??" and really, it's adorable.

Dude, that waitress is so close to her! She was wiping down the table and seats on the booth behind us but lady, give us some space!

The end. That's what I did this week.

Sarah: Past, Present, and Future

Past:
Self-Quote: "So, he's a good guy? I mean... an adulterer, but a good guy?"
Present:
To-Do at Work: Take bagel orders, go buy bagels. My job is so tough.
Future:
August 23rd. Calexico. See you there?

Sarah: Tool of the Week, a cautionary tale

Thank you,

GIRL TOYS by BED HEAD,

for teaching me that all shine serums are not created equal. You smell tasty, but make my hair almost instantly greasy. You are being demoted from behind-the-mirror storage to green-tupperware-of-bathroom-products-never-to-be-seen-again. I'm sorry. It's not me, it's you.

I worried that it no longer existed, but was happy to find that the superior shine serum,

GLASS by REDKEN

still exists. Glass makes my hair silky smooth and shiny, but without feeling product-y and greasy after I style it. A curly haired girl needs a fair amount of help to get straight hair that doesn't feel like straw, and Glass does the trick. I love you, you tiny vial of expensive magic.

Yes, I even like it better than AFTERPARTY, as plugged here.

Sarah: Spicy

I'm considering some sort of spice-management system in my kitchen.

I have decided this is a worthy project because:
1. It will add some interest to my extremely blah kitchen.
2. I will free up a little much-needed cupboard space. I have a tiny kitchen.
3. You know what makes you look like a domestic goddess with amazing skills in the kitchen? Pretty spices. And one kick-ass recipe sure to seduce any man that tastes it.

So what do you think?
Cute little glass jars, all lined up on a shelf?
Or little tins with clear lids clinging to a magnetic strip?
Your opinions in the comments section are much appreciated.

Lisa: I knew I hung on to those hideous socks for a reason...

So, if you live nearby, I have an odd request. I'm trying to collect (as cheaply as possible) costume pieces that 8-year-old boys could use to make themselves a superhero outfit. I bet some of you might have appropriate things lying around, such as...

Sarah: Granny Panties

I drove with my grandma for a couple hours yesterday and needed to discuss. If you say something gross about my grandma in the comments, I will cut you.

S: OH i just remembered. The other grandma-crazy thing: she discussed lingerie with me. AWKWARD.
M: lol. You should not discuss lingerie with grandparents. That's just wrong.
S: I know. She read a billboard and was all "So what do YOU think about Dirty Jo Punsters??" and I said "Um. I don't even know what I would do with anything that I could buy there." and she says "IT SURE WOULD LOOK SILLY OVER GARMENTS!" and then I just laughed and died a little bit inside.
M: You should have said "Oh Grandma when you are wearing that stuff you take your garments off, silly."
S: WELL. She said something about a teddy she owns and about how it looked silly over garments.
M: WHOA. TMI, Grandma, TMI.
S: and I said "I think you can take off your garments for those occasions." and she says "But then you're naked and you don't NEED any silly lingerie." and um. That was the moment when I knew too much about my grandma's sex life.
M: Lol. Seriously. You totally had a bonding moment with your grandma.
S: Lol. I didn't bring up boyfriend panties and cheating panties. Perhaps I should have. She might have some insight.
M: Lol.

Lisa: Through Any Window

Jenna Fischer is such a babe. Read about her experience shooting the video on her MySpace. And the video is directed by the nerdy guy from Lane's band!

Sarah: Is there a support group for this?

With my landlord moving out of the house and leaving me with a cable and internet bill that has more than tripled in cost, I am assessing how much I am willing to spend on these services.
I'm considering some sort of technological detox for the semester, including getting rid of my own cable and internet and possibly even lending out my TiVo to a friend. This would save me an embarrassing amount of money and possibly make me a more interesting person, as I would have more to talk about than music videos and CSI. Not to mention the chiropractic benefit, as I would probably stop falling asleep on my couch. The following is my internet/TV shame:
1. I've started watching The Hills. Seriously. How the mighty have fallen.
2. I woke up at 4 am to a sharp pain in my hip. I got up off the couch and hobbled to bed. My couch broke my hip, you guys.
3. I absent-mindedly started singing "Who Are You" while hanging out with friends. Mallory completely called me on it, and deservedly so.
4. Two words: Internet. Boyfriends.

On the other hand, could I survive it? Would I merely purchase DVD after DVD to feed my addiction? Will it hurt my schoolwork to not have internet access at my home? Will my friends invite me to their houses to watch our stories?

So. I need to decide in the next two hours. To cancel my internet and cable or not? That is the question. Please give me your insight.

Update: I've canceled my cable tv and my landlord is looking at how much it will cost me to keep my internet. No more ANTM marathons, no more Spike TV, no more FX. For at least one semester. Sniffle. Anyone want to go bunny-ears shopping?

Oh, and to Emily in the comments: We'll see if this move results in more dating. It's an interesting idea. I'm sure I'll over-share all about it in the blog if it does.

Lisa: Buy a shredder. Now.

If, like me, you don't take identity theft that seriously, you should probably read The Torn-Up Credit Card Application, from the genius who brought us How Much is Inside. Rob tore up a junk-mail credit card offer, then taped it back together and filled it out, requesting a change of address and using a cell phone number. The helpful folks at Chase sent him a brand new credit card, no questions asked. Friggin' terrifying.

Sarah: Brain Dump, List Edition

Wanting:

cute galoshes. Oh, and don't you think that Lisa's baby needs some too? I'm so glad we agree.

Peach Days, the second most delicious festival in Utah. The first is Raspberry Days in Bear Lake. Mmmmm...

Plotting:

Lisa: In which I try to bore you to death with completely insignificant details.

For better or worse, the nursery is pretty much put together! It feels good to have that task done. The polka-dotted fabric bin on the lower shelf of the white table holds board books and tub books. You can see the Boppy pillow hanging out on the seat of Blake's grandpa's rocker.

The dresser is full of baby clothes and linens that have been washed with Dreft, folded and sorted by size, and put into labeled drawers. The IKEA frog is sitting in a Bumbo baby seat next to George and Martha and a sweet little baby sock sorting thingie I found at HomeGoods. I made the print over the dresser in my letterpress class--it features my favorite quote from Peter Pan.

The top two shelves of the bookcase are full of baby supplies, and the bottom shelf is picture books. The art is two pages from an advance copy of You Were Loved Before You Were Born, written by Eve Bunting and illustrated by Karen Barbour. The book is due out in January.

Under the window you can see the gift Marci got us--the first baby item Blake and I picked out together. Above the crib are the letter hooks I talked about here. Since I took these pictures, I got some big clear totes at Target to go under the crib: one for extra diapers, one for blankets, and one for stuffed animals. We're still waiting for our Sophie bumper and crib skirt to arrive from Pottery Barn.

The light must have been a bit different for this photo, because the wall color here looks closer to how it looks in real life. Anyway, you can see we've been messing around with the toys on top of the bookcase and on the shelf above it. We swapped out the fancy (and arguably creepy-looking) dolls I had when I was younger for the Cabbage Patch Garden Fairies I adopted in college. And of course we had to dig out my Boo doll and press her belly a bunch of times. The soccer-playing Build-a-Bear was a gift to Blake from the girls he coached one year, and the other one is Olivia, who Blake gave me for our anniversary three years ago.

TA-DA! She'd better friggin' love it.

Lisa: Can you dig it?

If we lent you our VHS copy of Shaft, will you let me know? I was totally planning to pack that bad boy in my hospital bag.

Sarah: How to Charm Me...

Smile and say "Ha! You have Irritable Bowel Syndrome-Face!"

It sounds like a very unfortunate condition indeed, but you? You are charming.