Sarah: Boy, Is my face red.

Nearing the end of my workday, I took a quick break to use the restroom. While washing my hands, I glanced in the mirror to check the frizz levels of my hair (assessment: Threat Level Yellow) and lip gloss shine factor (assessment: 0 shine remains. Bummer.). Then I noticed a pinkish spot on my cheek. It felt slightly puffy and sensitive to the touch. I decided that it could be nothing other than a flesh-eating bacteria. Obviously I needed a second opinion.
I walk briskly out of the restroom to consult Marci.
"I have a flesh-eating bacteria on my face. See? See??"
I stand on my toes to lean over the front of the reception desk. Marci soothes my paranoia and tells me that she doesn't see anything on my face. "Right here! It's eating my face off. I saw it on America's Next Top Model. Marci, I have a flesh-eating bacteria."
"Sarah," she smiles, "your face is fine."
"I have a bacteria! Look! The spot is right there!"
I twirl around to head back to the bathroom mirror for confirmation.
And then I see something.
A man in a suit sitting in the conference room, waiting to speak with my boss.
"Oh. Hi. I have a flesh-eating bacteria."
He smiles, nervously.
Just then, the president of the company walks past.
"Sarah, stop scaring people away."

"I have a flesh-eating bacteria on my face."

Lisa: voila

In our fabulous language, there is sometimes a gap between a written word and its spoken equivalent. Spanish doesn't have this problem--each vowel is said the same way, every time. Their rules of pronunciation are simple and finite. Not so with English. English is full of EXCEPTIONS to the rules. Some of the rules even have exceptions built right in: "I before E except after C or when sounding like "ey" as in neighbor and weigh." What kind of rule is that?

This gap presents a problem for readers and non-readers alike. People who have read the word but not used it in conversation often betray their ignorance with an incorrect pronunciation, while people who have heard the word used out loud might stumble when it comes time to write the word down--and no amount of dictionary searching will help BECAUSE THE SPELLING DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. See "segue." I think the French are usually to be blamed for this.

Imagine my embarassment when I read Imogene's Antlers out loud to my mom as a child, and in the crucial scene where the fancy (French) milliner reveals a new hat he has created to hide Imogene's offending appendages, I confidently exclaimed "VIOLA!" Like the string instrument. I'm sure Mom was very nice about it, all "Heeee. Oh, sweetie, it's pronounced WA-LA!" I could have shrugged it off, or nodded in comprehension. I chose to be mortified.

Now. Let's all learn from my childhood mistake, shall we? When you look at the words "wa la" on the screen after typing them, your instinct tells you that these are not real words. FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT. Type "voila" instead. Use italics to indicate a foreign language. Smirk to yourself about how smart you are.

Lisa: people who try not to laugh out loud at their computer monitors at work (cracker division)

I heartily endorse Sarah's addition of How About Orange to her favorite sites. Without How About Orange, I would never have found Threadbared, and I would never have been so delighted by vintage patterns with wacky captions that I started reading right at the beginning, and I would never have found this family on their way to the weekly meeting of the Racist Memorabilia Collectors Club (Cracker Division).

My life is so much better today than it could have been. Thank you, Sarah.

Lisa: what to expect when you're expecting a vampire baby

Blake and I watched two episodes of Heroes last night, which brought up some very important issues that had to be resolved before we could go to sleep.

1. If you could have any mutant power, what power would you choose?
2. Are Magneto's powers stupid?
3. If the baby could have any mutant power, what would you want it to be?
4. If the baby could be any horror-movie creature, what would you want it to be?

These questions were tricky to come to a consensus on, particularly because Blake answered in this highly irritating fashion:

1. Magneto's powers.
2. No. They are AWESOME.
3. The power to make sound waves into light. (I was able to bargain him into controlling the weather.)
4. A vampire.

Sarah: I know what you plan to do this summer

Last night was everything a summer weeknight should be. I hurried home after work (in my newly repaired and very happy car), changed and went for a run . A short shower later, I met Mallory and Marci for sushi at a local restaurant, Go Sushi. Mallory had the always-delicious Vegas roll, with is tempura fried and topped with eel sauce (girl is crazy for some eel sauce) and we all had some stir-fried vegetables. I ate the deliciously spicy Taylor Roll (the first time I've had it: it has rice, cucumber, sprouts, tempura shrimp, and many other yummy ingredients) while the girls narrated the latest episode of Heroes for me, since I am greviously behind.
For dessert, we each had a serving of Go Sushi's fresh ice cream and I finally got around to taking out my phone to take pictures. Mallory had raspberry.

Marci had mango.

I had green tea, which was interesting and delicious.

On a related note, I recently purchased Demeter fragrance in Green Tea, which I love. I wear it every day and feel like a more interesting and beautiful person. Anyway.
After dinner, we watched 24 at my house with Blake and Lisa, followed by some Supernatural. It was a delightfully relaxing evening with lovely people. I plan to run again tonight in an effort to recapture a small part of last night. I also plan to get sushi to-go from my new favorite local restaurant. Well, maybe it's not my favorite, but it's in the top two.

Sarah: My Design IQ

I followed How About Orange's lead and tested my Design IQ.

Rising Star: You really know your stuff, and should definitely consider pursuing your dream of becoming a designer! If you aren't already in design school, enroll as soon as you can and prepare to wow your profs with your impressive know-how.

I haven't decided to quit my job and current major in college quite yet, but I was proud to know the difference between Craftsman and Art Nouveau.
If you're looking for more quizzes, some people visit this site to get their fix.

Sarah: 6:38 am

Today is IKEA day. I'm sleepy.

Sarah: IKEA day

We went to IKEA. But that's not the half of it.

Mallory, Lisa, and I (we missed you, Marci! At least one of the girls is a responsible employee.) met at 6:45 am and picked up breakfast at McDonalds. Biscuits, muffins, hashbrowns, and drinks filled the car. Justin accompanied us in the car. I wore a sweatshirt I borrowed from Lisa McShrimpyArms, thus creating a patent-pending exposed-wrist-centric dance move. We packed lawn chairs in the trunk. We car-flirted. All of this before arriving at IKEA.

Ushered by countless police officers, we parked in the rapidly-filling parking lot and chose to leave the lawn chairs behind.

Music blared, fire dancers performed on stilts (but without fire)

and tiny tumblers tumbled. We made our way to the end of the line

and shook our booties with reckless abandon. Then came the swag.

Through shameless cries of "oh! oh! oh! mememe!" everytime an IKEA employee walked past, we each received an IKEA Frisbee, rubber ducky (complete with tool belt and fetching baseball hat), compass keychain, and house-with-hidden-screwdriver-compartment keychain. Others closer to the front of the line received IKEA water bottles and those that camped out days in advance (some had been there since Monday!) received yellow shirts that said "I Slept With IKEA."

Watching the line lengthen and snake around the building, we were glad we got to IKEA when we did (not too early, but not too late. We were the Three Little IKEA Piggies. Or something. Edited to add: Meaning, of course, the Three Little IKEA Bears. Or IKEA Goldilocks. Obviously Shrek has infected the fairy-tale portion of my brain. Leave my fairy tales alone!).

We were still unsure, however, if we would get a prize envelope when we entered the doors. These envelopes are reserved for the first 2500 customers, and all of us were bad at estimating large numbers of people. But we got envelopes! Hurrah!

None of the prizes were too exciting, but Lisa got a $10 IKEA gift card! Which she promptly forgot to use when she purchased...

a children's easel with chalkboard and paper roll
an ovary-burstingly cute bake set and teeny tiny ceramic tea set
and finger puppets. For work, obviously. Because her job is awesome.

My shopping was less exciting. I got a big new vase and some rocks for replanting my bamboo plant.

Mallory didn't purchase anything, but I think we may go back soon to look at beds.

And we can go back anytime. Because IKEA? Is in Utah.

After we were IKEAd out, we all went to lunch at Great Harvest. It was so delicious and so relaxed. I wish I could spend the day with my girls every Wednesday.

Sarah: Thoughts of Summer

Does anyone have a pool I can borrow? I'll bring the drinks and sunblock if you let me sit by your pool and read, write, and sleep.