October 04, 2005
Lisa: For heaven's sake, please leave them on. No, seriously, we don't need to see your toes.
It looks like the Etiquette Grrls have already covered this topic for me, here. Here it is, edited only to remove a few instances of Cutesy Affected Capitals that distracted from the intelligent and reasoned response.
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
I get sooooooo aggravated... I mean extremely... on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown aggravated when people wear shoes in my house. I have put up signs on the front door (which may not be the most proper thing to do, but it worked) telling them to PLEASE remove their shoes before entering. That worked, but then we moved. I thought that by then everyone who ever was a guest in my home knew that I did not like shoes in the house, so I didn't place another sign. My in-laws don't get the picture. My mother in-law, father in-law, brother in-law, and even his wife still wear their shoes in my house. I have made comments, I have asked nicely... they have to know how I feel about this. It literally drives me insane if I am sitting in the same room with someone who has their shoes on! My husband tells me it is rude to ask someone to take off their shoes. Personally, I feel it is rude to not take off your shoes! I don't live outside in the dirt, and animal doo-doo, and I certainly don't want to bring it into my house! What can I do? And am I being rude?
Thank you,
K
Dear K,
Oh, Dear Reader, we are sure you won't be happy to hear this, but we cannot agree with you on this one. It is perfectly normal to wear shoes indoors. When the EGs go to a party, we wear nice shoes-- pretty Kate Spade slingbacks, say. We would be shocked and appalled if someone were to request, nay, DEMAND that we remove them and walk around in our stockings all night! The EGs would have spent a long time deciding which shoes would go with our outfit, and it would be just silly to leave them at the door! And furthermore, would you really want us to stub our toes or get runs in our stockings? Dear Reader, we'd probably walk out the door and celebrate somewhere else where our nice slingbacks were made welcome!
Dear Reader, the EGs would like to ask gently if perhaps you are over-reacting, just a wee, wee bit? Of course, we would be utterly horrified too if someone who had apparently been traipsing through sewers tried to wander into the Etiquette Flat, tracking filth everywhere. But Dear Reader, honestly, we are sure your in-laws do not, as you have put it, actually live outside in the dirt, etc., etc. It's more than slightly insulting to them for you to imply this. The EGs can only respond to your question from our own perspective, and we have offered our opinion on the matter, as you asked. However, we just want to say that if you find you're obsessed with this issue-- if you truly feel in actual Nervous Breakdown Range-- you might want to talk with a professional who has experience helping folks with issues like this. You shouldn't have to worry so, Dear Reader!
With best wishes,
The Etiquette Grrls
October 05, 2005
Sarah: Noisy
Behold the wisdom of Nicole:
N: Annoying people shouldn't be allowed to whistle.
Sarah: [Laughing]
N: It just reminds us that they're around. And that is not okay.
October 06, 2005
Lisa: colored contacts for my house
So, a while ago the cellular fabric blinds in our kitchen broke. I don't know when this happened--in fact, they might have been broken when we moved in. Basically, there was just no string coming out of the string hole. You know, the string that is supposed to pull the blinds up? So the blinds could not be pulled up. To add insult to injury, the blinds had been let down too far, so that they hung over the window sill, like so:
Anyway, it had been bugging me for a while, but A) we couldn't afford new blinds, and B) our neighbor's house is really close on that side, so I didn't want to just take the blinds down and have a naked window. Gabrielle suggested these window clings that imitate stained glass, so I picked up a few at Home Depot and went to town with the Exacto knife, a little soapy water, and my Costco card.
Much better, huh?
We had a similar situation in the bathroom. The blinds weren't broken, but they were those fabric shades. Since our bathroom seems to stay really steamy a lot, I was getting kind of freaked out about the possibility of mildew. Anyway, I decided to put the window clings up in there, too!
Here's the bathroom before.
And here's the window halfway done--you can tell the view is super great from this window, too...
Ta DA!
Anyway, I think the window clings are a pretty good temporary solution. You can tell up close that they're not really stained glass, but if you're not looking for it, it's not bothersome. And the light shining through to the inside during the day and to the outside at night is really pretty. Plus, they are totally temporary and easily removable, unlike the window frosting spray I put on the windows in my side door, to mixed results.
October 10, 2005
Lisa: The Greatest of All Gifts
Past protests to the contrary, I love bacon--extra-crispy bacon fried in a pan. Don't even think about using the microwave. No jiggly, glistening fatty bits should be visible. If it even looks too much like actual meat it is no good. But bacon cooked the way I like it...there's almost nothing better.
That said, I think joining the Bacon of the Month Club would be taking that love a bit too far.
October 12, 2005
Sarah: Jammin' in the name of the Lord
A friend of mine walked with me down a hallway and were watched by an African American woman in her forties or fifties. After we passed her, the woman said "Daaaaamn. Yabba dabba jabbidy dall." Once we were out of view and hearing range, I verified with my friend what the woman had said. Having a more discerning ear, he corrected me and explained that the woman had said "Y'all be jammin'. I wanna be jammin' with y'all," which, roughly translated, means that she likes how we looked. Well, that's good.
October 17, 2005
Lisa: Time for Milking
Yesterday in sacrament meeting I drafted a daily schedule for myself. I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed (even though I only work 30 hours a week and SOME PEOPLE think my job is a joke) and a bit like I didn't have enough time to get done all the things I want to do. So I wrote down all those things and how much time I thought they would take, and this is what I came up with.
Schedule 1 (for days I work 8-5)
Schedule 2 (for days I work 12-9)
That leaves Wednesday, alternate Fridays and Saturdays, and Sundays unscheduled. I'm thinking that way I will be less likely to rebel and/or go insane.
The good part is that if I can stick to the schedule, I will already be accomplishing a lot of my smaller goals:
Anyway, I'm willing to give this a try. I got up and exercised this morning with Sarah, but the rest of the morning schedule sort of got preempted by sleep. I'm thinking if I go to bed on time tonight, I'll start the schedule for real tomorrow. The next thing I need to do is to create playlists for the entire day with music that fits the mood and length of time of each task. Suggestions welcome!
October 18, 2005
Lisa: Obviously, I didn't win Blake over with my extensive sports knowledge.
Lisa: So, I was watching an Angel episode with Molly, and Lilah was all "4th and something blah blah what do you do?" and someone else was all "punt." And I was like "I don't get these baseball references."
Mallory: lol
Lisa: And Molly looked at me like I was the biggest idiot. "You mean...football?"
Mallory: Hey, at least you knew it was a sport comment.
Lisa: Yeah. I had to shrug, all "Whatever. Sports!"
Lisa: I guess I was confusing punt with bunt, which is really stupid, I know. I DO know the difference.
Lisa: Punt = kick, right?
Lisa: yeah
Lisa: And bunting is when you hold the bat out funny instead of swinging at the ball. Right?
Mallory: lol. Yup.
Lisa: See, I am not SO much of an idiot.
Lisa: And I know that 4th and whatever is like 4th down and however many yards to go. But there could also be a 4th ... inning?
Mallory: Yeah. There can be a million innings if nobody scores. But there are usually 8 or 9.
Lisa: right
Lisa: See, I totally knew that.
Mallory: It depends on the home team and if they've scored or some weird rule. One summer my friend Cynthia and I decided to learn all we could about sports so we could go to sporting events and meet guys.
Lisa: Hee. How did that work out for you?
Mallory: We learned a lot about sports...but didn't meet very many guys. We were mostly like "Hee, we know football!" And the guys were like "ughsa;dkdfj," which is code for meat heads.
Lisa: Lots of grunting?
Mallory: Exactly, so we were like EW YOU'RE GROSS and went away.
October 19, 2005
Sarah: We talk to Mallory a lot.
Mallory: Did you know that 210,000 children under the age of five die every week due to mal-nutrition? That was depressing. Sorry about that.
Sarah: It's ok. But it is depressing.
Mallory: *sigh*
Sarah: I would pat your head if this was in person.
Mallory: I need a head pat right about now.
Sarah: I'm sorry that i disappoint you.
Mallory: Or tiny dancer by ben folds.
Mallory: Hee. You don't.
HOLD ME CLOSER TINY DANCERRRR
Sarah: Yes... Ben Folds singing Elton John is like a musical pat on the head. Like an old sweater that gets warmer with age...
Mallory: Jesus freakkssss in the streetttt
October 24, 2005
Sarah: For Lisa
Mallory and I have a new game: Each day, we include in our emails to each other lists of words, all somehow related. Perhaps we choose a letter of the alphabet that must be the first letter of all the words. Perhaps we chose a subject. Last week, we explored the synonyms for boobs. Below is the list, along with the initials of those who listed the words. We had a little help on this list.
bazooms - L
bo-bos - G
boobies - S
bosoms - L
breasts - L
breastises (BREST-iss-iz) - G
chickens - A
cleavage - G
cupcakes - G
dinners - S, L
dirty pillows - J
enchiladas - S, L
falsies (if false) - L
fun-bags - A, L
gazungas/bazungas - S, L
headlights - L
hooters - A
jugs - S, L
knockers - S, A, L
love pillows - S
mams - A
melons - L, M
mo-mos - G
party hats - L
rack - L
talent - G
ta-tas - S, L
tits - G
titties/tatties - A, L
udders - G
Lisa wanted to know who won the battle for the most boob-names. Here are the final scores:
S - 8
A - 6
L - 16
M - 1
J - 1
G - 8
As you can see, an uncharacteristically poor showing by Mallory and an almost frighteningly thorough victory by Lisa.
Added entries from Jeremy and Gemini6Ice.
Sarah: For Your Information
Some people think they are not adequately mentioned on our site. Always a pleaser, I would like you all to be aware of Michelle (Michelle ROCKS!) and Andrea (RAZRPHONE!), both of whom are on the Century magazine staff with me, and Armando, whom I date.
I expect those I mention on this site to leave amusing comments. Thank you.
October 28, 2005
Sarah: Tune in, Tokyo
In a ten minute drive, I heard the following phrases on my radio:
"Your body will thank you. Your wallet will kiss you."
"You can't see the forest for the frrrrrrustrations..."
Thoughts:
-WHAT???
-I need to change my programmed radio stations.
-This is why I have an iPod.
October 31, 2005
Lisa: Bildungsroman
Since we have about a thousand books in the library system under this subject heading, I thought I'd better find out what it means.
Bildungsroman:
a novel which traces the spiritual, moral, psychological, or social development and growth of the main character from (usually) childhood to maturity.
Thank you, Wikipedia. The world is a smarter place today because of you. Here are some alternate (but very similar) definitions via OneLook.
[slight tangent]
You know, you have to quit using the words segue and eschew. All right? They sound French.
--Seeley Booth
[/slight tangent]