Sarah: Me no speaky Chinese

MSN Instant Messenger conversation between myself and M, my new coworker.

M: Do you know what "lmao" means?
Sarah: Yes.
M: I thought my friend was online.. but then all of a sudden theyre like "LMAO LMAO THIS ISNT MARCI HAHAHAH BYE" and then left.
Sarah: Yuck. I hate them.
M: ... and I'm like, "Okay, bye."
Sarah: lmao= laugh my ass off.
M: Ahh... I was thinking it was a chinese food or something. lmao.. It kind of looks Asian.
Sarah: ha ha ha ha Yeah, it does...
M: ..
Sarah: You're still cool...
M: Thanks man

Lisa: Next up, carrot jello!

Last Sunday, I played at a Music and the Spoken Word broadcast with guest artist Donny Osmond. Donny. OSMOND. And for the first time, I actually thought he was...cute (for a 46-year-old). I have never been more a part of stereotypical Mormon culture than at that moment. Click the thumbnail below for a bigger picture.

Anyway, I offered the piccolo player twenty bucks if she would ask Donny to sign her boobs. No go, though--she said it would take a lot more than that to be worth getting kicked out of the orchestra (which she undoubtedly would have been). But, come on! Donny would have signed her boobs--that's got to be worth WAY more than $20.

Lisa: dorkbot (not just for dorks anymore?)

Nerds and normal people alike should check out this article (via David) on dorkbot, a group that meets near Colombia to talk about "doing strange things with electricity." Any group that has presentations titled "Fire-Spewing Vacuum Cleaners" and "Things That Might Fly if You Put Enough Rockets on Them" is OK by me.

Sarah: Sorry. Again.

So, once again, it is time for excuses. I know I've really been slacking off on our site lately, but I've been busy! I was going to post as soon as finals were over. Then I was going to post as soon as I returned from our trip to Balboa. Then I started working and got lazy in all other areas of my life. Allow me to update you on what's going on. I finished my second year at USU and moved back home with my parents. After a brief period of not knowing what would happen next, a possible opportunity to live in Seattle for the summer fell through, and I found a job in Salt Lake at The UPS Store. No, not the same one I worked at before. That would be entirely too straightforward. I'm really enjoying it, though, and I get as many hours as I could want. Now that life is more under control, I'll try to get around to posting more often, but if you want to see what I have to say, you'll have to scroll down, as Lisa posts FIVE BILLION TIMES EACH DAY!!! I wrote something the other day... I promise. Just scroll down... It's there.

Guest Blogger: David Anderson

OK, this is crazy: I just saw an ad for the Air Force Academy, and unfortunately it was a flash animation, so I couldn't copy it and show it here. But here's what it said:

A young woman is seen sitting in a library or classrom, looking over her shoulder at a couple behind her, listening to what they are saying. The caption reads, "Eavesdropping used to get you into trouble." Then the picture cuts to another of the same girl, this time in military uniform in front of some computer screens, I'm assuming that show surveillance equipment, and the caption says, "Now it saves the day." Then the panel changes to show the Air Force logo, and the final caption reads, "We've been waiting for you."

What the crap is that??!!! I'm sorry, but that is wrong in so many ways.

Lisa: Mackerelly

If you could use an hour's worth of suppressed giggles, check out these Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. (Via Cockeyed.) The funniest part is the comment next to each card in the tour. Seriously, I had to flee from my office to the bathroom to hide my suppressed giggling shame.

Lisa: Schooled

I finished my comprehensive essay exams last night (WOOHOOOOO!!!), which means I am almost done with the Capstone Experience of my master's program. The other main component is a leadership project, which I'm basically done with. I just have to have one more meeting and then write about what I did.

In case anyone's interested in my project (or indirectly my lack of postings lately), here's what it entailed:
I made 15 story sacks for the library of the Young Parents Center, which is an alternative high school for students who become parents and want to bring their children with them to school. The sacks each contain a few related books, some activity items, a sheet with more activity ideas and tips on reading to babies, and a bunch of reading lists and brochures from the county library system. I took pictures of a few of the sacks this morning to include with my write-up, so you get to see them too. (Click on the dealy-hops to see the bigger thingummies.)

Outside

Inside

By the end of the week, my write-up will be done and turned in, and that means no more Capstone! I just have to finish out summer semester (three classes) and then I graduate in August. In Vegas. Yeah, it will be the hottest--but also the funnest, right? If you know of any fabulous yet affordable hotels, please let me know.

Lisa: Fine. Pick your OWN freaking colors!

I put up a new stylesheet today (obviously). Sarah thinks the yellow is "vomitous," but I kind of like it. All three of our readers are expected to vote in the comments. That means YOU!

Lisa: Well, we didn't have cable!

OK, I know these quizzes are usually lame, but this one (based on 80s song lyrics) was actually really fun. I thought I was doing well until I saw my crap score.

See if you can do better! (Via Going Jesus.)

Sarah: This Surreal Life

My brother recently burned a FABULOUS c.d. for me featuring Postal Service, Clem Snide, and Fiona Apple. Postal Service in particular has captured my attention because of their surreal and original sound. The other day, I was listening to them while driving, feeling like a removed observer of the world around me. I saw two older women sitting on a blanket in the grass with a picnic laid out around them, deep in conversation. A hipster boy defied his stereotype by walking with an 8 year old girl in mutually good-natured companionship. Everything seemed right and harmonious. Thank you, Postal Service.

Lisa: A few items of varying importance

1. I am wearing my "World's Best Grandma" shirt today, which nobody seems to think is funny but me. Maybe it's because I live in Utah--do people think it's possible I really could be a grandma? Whatever. I think the shirt is funny, and besides, I look hot in it.

2. Molly, Blake, and I are getting more and more serious about our trip to the British Isles (is that capitalization correct?) next summer, which I think I have mentioned before. I am totally excited. Molly and I went to Europe together in college, and we did the whole giant backpack, youth hostel, Eurail Pass, five countries (and ten cities) in three weeks thing. This would be different. This would be hotels and quite possibly a rental car. This would be seeing things we want to see, not just things we feel we are obligated to see because they're famous or important (although seeing the famous/important things has its merits). Anyway, the planning is half the fun, so we're starting to research costs and things we might want to see. If you have any suggestions, please comment! My assignment is to look for books and movies with a historical (fiction or non) slant set (and/or filmed) in the British Isles--you know, to get us in the mood.

3. Talking about going on a trip next summer has led to a lot of talks on future plans in general. Blake graduated in May and has been looking for jobs, and I graduate in August. There's just a lot of change coming up for us, I think. Within the next year, we (Blake and I) would like to:

Lisa: a dream is a wish your heart makes

Sometimes the least exciting dreams are the ones you want to come true. For example, the other night I dreamed that Blake and I accidentally found a GREAT apartment. It was way bigger than ours, really old and cool looking, with sort of a private courtyard area. The best part was that it was filled with a ton of old, ornate, dark wood furniture that the landlord wanted to get rid of. He said we could keep whatever we wanted as long as we sold the rest and sent him the proceeds. Unfortunately, I don't think we're going to find anything like that in Utah. Maybe if we were looking for a place in Italy...

A few nights before that I dreamed that I delivered an intelligent, logical, and not at all psycho-hose-beasty speech to a certain ex-boyfriend all about how we are both adults and don't need to pretend not to recognize each other when we run into each other, which happens to be a lot since we work at the same hospital and ride the same public transportation. I tried to remember what I said when I woke up, but it was gone--which is too bad, because I could use a little help in that department.

Lisa: the freakish domesticity continues

Can I just say that I love having a sewing machine? I asked for one last Christmas, and it was totally an inspired request. The best part is that I can take clothes I already own and alter them to fit the way I want them to. I can bend them to my will! I had access to my mom's sewing machine growing up, but something about having my own just makes me want to use it more. Unfortunately (suprise, suprise), my apartment doesn't have room for a dedicated sewing space--you can tell from the pictures below that the machine is currently set up on the kitchen table. I figure that since I rarely cook, this is actually a much more effective use of the space.

Here are two projects I did recently (as usual, click the thumbnails to see bigger pictures):

I don't know WHAT I was thinking when I tried this skirt on at the store. Everything seemed fine in the dressing room, but then when I put the skirt on to go to a baby shower last Saturday morning, it was humongous. Seriously, it fell down around my hips and looked totally weird. I wore it to the shower anyway and just hoped my shirt covered the weirdness adequately, but as soon as I got home I ripped the skirt off and went to town with my sewing machine. I put two little darts in the front and two bigger darts in the back, and topstiched over all four to make them lie down right. The entire project was complete in like fifteen minutes, and I wore the skirt (now minus the wonkiness) for the rest of the day.

This dress was one of those online purchases I should have just let go, but I loved it so much that I couldn't. I ordered my usual size, and the dress that came in the mail fit perfectly on top but (since I am not a Victoria's Secret model) was too small on the bottom. I sent the dress back for the next size up, which fit totally fine on the bottom. Unfortunately, this meant the top was a little baggy, and the whole thing was made for a taller person. The belt, which is supposed to be low-slung, was really too low on my hips--I don't need to make my legs look any shorter. However, I just had my mom take in the darts on the back a bit and redo the topstiching, and I wore the dress a bunch of times. The problem is that now I have lost more weight, and the top of the dress was even baggier and just looked silly. So a few weeks ago, I decided to take in the side seams myself, since they are relatively hidden and hard to screw up. While I was at it, I got ambitious--not only did I take in the side seams, I also took in the front darts, redid the topstitching over the darts, took off all the belt loops, and reset them about an inch higher. I'm actually really happy with how it looks--who would have thought?

I highly recommend an adjustable dressmaker's dummy if you are sewing things for yourself. Pinning and measuring things on your own body is almost impossible. Mine is a Twin Fit, and it rocks. My sewing machine is a Viking Huskystar 219, and I've been VERY happy with it so far.