Sarah: Wild Heart

I have funny stuff to share with you, I promise. But right now it's 10:30 pm on the night before I start working for 12 or 17 days straight, and I'm feeling overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings.

Excited to start a new job, relieved that the job hunt is over. Appreciative beyond words for the support and love of my family and friends.

I've also been thinking about dreams, and how they sometimes change and shift over time, so slowly and subtly that you don't even notice. Sometimes they get more solidly fixed in your mind when other interests and distractions wear away like sand around a harder stone.

And sometimes your heart breaks a little when something that you thought would be perfect isn't so perfect anymore. That's a little of what happened in my professional life I before I decided to move to New York.
I don't think that New York was the only solution to this problem, but I think it was a question of what if that had to be answered. And while I'm still working on that answer, I am learning that part of my heartache was because I didn't want to walk away from a situation before it was fixed.
I decided that I couldn't fix that situation for everyone, but I could fix it for me. And once in a while, that has to be enough.

When I accepted my job in New York (and had a bonus job offer, to boot), it was a confirmation that perhaps that dream-job-that-became-not-a-dream-job wasn't the only option for me. There are other options that will get me closer to the big dream in different ways.

This is all a vague way of saying that I'm excited about my new job. And if all goes according to plan, it is going to teach me some skills that I'm eager to learn, and I'm going to be paid to do some of the things that I love along the way. This is such a lucky, wonderful thing to be able to say.

And now, without any real segue, here's a little song I have in my head. Thanks for the heads up, Orangette.