Lisa: sexy?

Sarah sent me the following text messages yesterday:

Sarah: I can hear Rocco humping his bed and it is...intimate.
Lisa: Ew.
S: I. Know. But who am I to say stop? He deserves a fulfilling life? Ugh.
L: Ew! But...dogs don't wear condoms, so I guess it is the more responsible choice.
S: Dogs also don't have the only 100% effective form of birth control: Levis.
L: Good point.

Later...

S: Aaand I now have Showtime.
L: Your TV situation confuses me.
S: Me too! Anyway. You should come over sometime. I bet we could see some titties.
L: Who doesn't like a good pair of titties?
S: They're the Sara Lee of anatomy.

This morning during the Diane Rehm show, I heard a radio commercial I had to investigate further. It was for PajamaGrams (now including pajama jeans!) Apparently, 'the gift of relaxation' is great for Mothers' Day. For a mere $45 - $75, you can have the loungewear of your choice delivered in a periwinkle or pink organza hatbox. (Yep. Organza. Hatbox.)

The good news is that pajama jeans (essentially wide-leg "jeggings" as far as I can tell) are still a 100% effective form of birth control: not because of their sturdy fabric and construction, but because no one wants to become intimate with someone wearing a pair. And can we just revel in that trademarked fabric name for a moment? DORMISOFT. I'm not going to say that this particular garment symbolizes the downfall of society, but...it is clearly a gift for someone you hate.