Two Loose Teeth: Sarah: Boy, Is my face red.

May 01, 2007

Sarah: Boy, Is my face red.

Nearing the end of my workday, I took a quick break to use the restroom. While washing my hands, I glanced in the mirror to check the frizz levels of my hair (assessment: Threat Level Yellow) and lip gloss shine factor (assessment: 0 shine remains. Bummer.). Then I noticed a pinkish spot on my cheek. It felt slightly puffy and sensitive to the touch. I decided that it could be nothing other than a flesh-eating bacteria. Obviously I needed a second opinion.
I walk briskly out of the restroom to consult Marci.
"I have a flesh-eating bacteria on my face. See? See??"
I stand on my toes to lean over the front of the reception desk. Marci soothes my paranoia and tells me that she doesn't see anything on my face. "Right here! It's eating my face off. I saw it on America's Next Top Model. Marci, I have a flesh-eating bacteria."
"Sarah," she smiles, "your face is fine."
"I have a bacteria! Look! The spot is right there!"
I twirl around to head back to the bathroom mirror for confirmation.
And then I see something.
A man in a suit sitting in the conference room, waiting to speak with my boss.
"Oh. Hi. I have a flesh-eating bacteria."
He smiles, nervously.
Just then, the president of the company walks past.
"Sarah, stop scaring people away."

"I have a flesh-eating bacteria on my face."

Posted by sarah at May 01, 2007 04:49 PM

Comments

Nothing says welcome to the company like a flesh eating virus.

Posted by: Marci on May 1, 2007 04:56 PM

Awesome.

I think Michelle had impetigo, which is not STRICTLY SPEAKING a flesh-eating bacteria. Is that revealing too much about my love for America's Next Top Model?

And also? You should go to the dermo.

Posted by: lisa on May 1, 2007 06:37 PM

You know what I hate? I hate the mid-season recap of ANTM(America's Next Top Model, for you less sophisticated). It's like I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!! I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW FAITHFULLY SINCE IT STARTED!! I DON'T NEED THIS STUPID CRAP!! I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF NATASHA REAL SCREWS IT UP OR WHINES ABOUT BEING SINGLED OUT WHEN SHE DIDN"T GET TO SEE HER BABY! Okay sorry I said my piece

Posted by: Jeremy on May 1, 2007 07:01 PM

Can I have some of that flesh eating bacteria for my spare tire? It's either that or buy (and actually work out to) P90X -- like THAT'S going to happen.

Not that I'm asking you to rub your face on my spare tire . . . I can send you a petri dish or something. Seriously, you thought I was asking you to rub your face on my spare tire? Pervy.

Posted by: Dave on May 1, 2007 10:34 PM

So that whole time I was like, "What is Dave talking about? Spare tires can come in handy! Plus, your face will be all black if you rub it right on the tire!" And then I had to tell the whole internet. Shut up. SHUT UP.

Posted by: lisa on May 2, 2007 11:29 AM

this has to be my all-time favorite story. hhahaaw. oh, i miss working with you.

Posted by: nicole on May 2, 2007 04:16 PM

wu wu wu wait! has marci joined the AP team?! welcome to the family! also... when i first read this i was thinking, "wait a minute, i'm not the president of the company!"

and then i clicked on the link.

this is why clicking on links and reading carefully is important. also important: diet coke.

Posted by: nicole on May 2, 2007 10:27 PM

Ha ha ha. Sorry for being confusing. Marci is our new receptionist and she is rocking it. She's temporarily exempt from her Maverick Walk duties, but only because the new building hasn't opened yet.

Posted by: sarah on May 3, 2007 08:32 AM

However, Marci is NOT exempt from her Iceman Walk duties. Or her Goose Walk (talk to me Goose).

Posted by: Dave on May 3, 2007 04:04 PM