Lisa: Sleep... Oh! how I loathe those little slices of death.

I had a series of disturbing and morbid dreams last night that may or may not warrant analysis.

1. Something involving a helicopter crash into a swamp. Of course, we had to pull out all the dead bodies, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Luke Perry, and Michael Vartan. We rolled them all up into one big bundle with a tarp. After the crash, I decided to hook up with a chubby but nice Agent Sean type. His roommates were very happy for him.

After that one, at about 3 am, I got up and brushed my teeth and washed my face and then went back to bed. I guess I felt dirty?

2. All I remember is visiting Kelso in a prison or detention facility or something. He was wearing a helmet.

3. I was on the set of a new Law and Order spinoff set in the 1950's and starring Christian Slater, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Winona Ryder (as one of a set of twins). I was very scornful of the whole thing, and kept pointing out anachronisms in the costumes.

4. After (finally) having sex with her boyfriend for the first time, a young blonde girl slid into a refrigerator on a little cart and closed the door after herself. This was totally not weird because it was her job and she was a professional. After a few minutes, her boyfriend heard sort of a coughing sound and opened the fridge, only to find her dead with her throat blown open. Believe me, the whole fridge thing sounds a lot weirder when trying to explain it to the 911 operator.

After that one, I woke up (one minute before my alarm rang) and got out of bed.