Lisa: Numbered to create a false sense of order

1. A few weeks ago I traded in my super-heavy "compact" day planner for a palmOne Zire 31 handheld. I really like it so far. Not only is it much smaller and lighter than my planner (giving me an excuse to buy a smaller purse), but it seems like a really functional, basic handheld. I mean, it doesn't have a camera or phone in it, or wireless connectivity and internet/email checking (which I don't need), but it has plenty of memory and a backlit screen, and it's easy to use. Best of all, it wasn't too expensive AND it fulfilled my (recurrent) need to buy something shiny. The one unfortunate side effect is that I have become addicted to solitaire. The moment I get on the train, out comes the handheld--and it doesn't let you cheat, either, so I feel like I have to keep playing until I win one. Hey, it's hard to fit books into my cute smaller purse, okay?

2. A cheesy but cute song about being a librarian can be listened to here. For some reason I think it would be more appealing with a youngish woman singing instead.

3. This is the car I want to buy. I want four doors, standard transmission, color-keyed sport fender and rocker panel extensions, rear window defogger, power steering, air conditioning, power door locks and windows, radio/cassette/in-dash CD player, and maybe a color-keyed rear spoiler (just because I drive fast like that). The Echo (or ECHO, since Toyota insists on spelling it with all caps) gets the best gas mileage of all the Toyotas except the hybrid Prius, at 42 miles per gallon on the highway. It's also Toyota's cheapest vehicle. Also, it is very cute and cartoony-squished looking (hard to tell from the website). I want to buy a new 2004 model right after the 2005s come out and they have to reduce prices to get rid of the 2004s. When is that, anyway? I can't decide on the color. Maybe Aqua Ice Opalescent (too trendy?), Impulse Red Pearl (hard to keep clean?), or Silver Streak Mica. I figure there's no problem with buying a brand new car with all the options I want as long as it's an inexpensive car to start out with and we're buying it with cash, right? Right?

4. The paper store closes at six on weekdays. This is unacceptable. What about people who have jobs? Do they not have paper needs?

5. Is it illegal to place tracking devices on people and/or their vehicles? Is it ethically wrong? Is it even possible? How would one go about doing so? Can said people then be tracked on my Zire 31? We all know that I am a stalker at heart. Tracking devices would save me so much trouble.