Sarah: Watch me blog on my webcam LIVE!

I got an email today with the subject line "Increase Your Tool Without Danger." I was very excited! Modern technology has finally proved itself useful. I mean, you know how sometimes your screwdriver is too small for the screw? It slips around in an annoying way and severely dampens fix-it tendencies. By increasing your tool, these days are over. Your once inadequate tool will fit the screw head perfectly, and you will find yourself content with fixing things all day. Also, the No Danger Guarantee* is incredible! If your hammer becomes too heavy after it is increased and, say, causes physical harm in some way, just return the increased tool with no charge to yourself! This tool increaser will revolutionalize the tool industry. Buy yours today! Send $200 to the Sarah's Vespa Fund**. Although it may sound steep, this product pays for itself!

*Not an actual guarantee
**You will not recieve a tool increaser, but a warm feeling inside, knowing that you have improved my quality of life.